The reviews offline were like a whirlwind- mind blowing. I almost panicked but I didn’t, it gave me some sort of flagship. Flagship to keep writing and writing as one person called it, LIFE. Of all the reviews this was my funniest:
“Was that a ghost story?” My friend asked.
“Why? Was it good??” I responded.
“It was too good to be true it must have been a ghost story.
Was it based on true events or was that story made up?” She said.
I think it was a true story.
You think?! Please tell me it was a ghost story.
Hehehehehe!! Relax it was JUST a true story.
SO I decided to do a sequel, just some intriguing thoughts:
Before I got born again, I ‘sliced’ people. I would meet someone, like him and use my charm to get them to like me back. I would be lying if I used the line at whatever cost. Honestly, it was not at whatever cost just at their cost. It was always them who had to pay the price, never I. That’s what you think till you realize it gives you a false image of yourself. It give’s you pride over your wrong choices and before you know it, that is what defines you most.
There is a very thin line between loving someone and lusting over them. The difference is in your mind. How you treat them even when they have zero idea on how you feel about them. Are you honoring them with your thoughts or are you just lusting over them? Do you desire that you own them or do they secretly own you? Are you praying for God to guide your heart and protect it? We have deceitful hearts and they can be deceiving.
When I shared 100 days, it was with a very pure heart. It was the first time in a very long time that I was talking about this story, worse off writing it down. It was as honest as I could get and I am glad a few people resonated with the story. We go through stuff, deep stuff and we sometimes feel suffocated. Brokenness leads us somewhere, it leads us to know self. Pain is beautiful if you face it with grace and truth. Pain breaks the pattern and makes you discover the path you should follow. Brokenness leads you to surrender pride, malice and lies, it’s meant to lead you to the truth.
Someone Whatsapped and asked ,”why did you walk away? ” My answer was very simple ,“I was not going to allow myself to be that shallow and cheap. ”My identity in God was very clear and all I wanted was depth in HIM. Flings and crushes come and go, but some stuff like character and integrity stay on and on. That was something I was not willing -not by works but by grace- to compromise on.
This is the truth of the matter, you never chose who you like, or even harder who your heart goes out to. But no one tied you there, things that hold us back are more mental than reality- put this in italics instead(not sure where I picked this). However, it’s a deliberate choice on who we love, Love is 5% feeling and 95 % decision. From mind to heart, heart to mind- it has to be a mutual agreement within you. You don’t chose who you like, but LOVE IS A CHOICE.
Corinthian’s defines love as this, meaning that the opposite of all this could be the definition of lust, malice and manipulation.
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
True story, you will meet people and you will be SMITTEN. But whether you will end up with this person in future or not, your thoughts and feelings could be the foundation of who you eventually become. Our biggest down fall is not our feelings, but the direction we entertain those feelings.
My number one desire is to honor any man who comes into my life. With my actions, my words and my thoughts (the unseen). Even when I felt like I was holding on to well-done marinated meat, I would not place it on the fire. As I said earlier it’s Jesus who makes the difference. Grace guides us to walk away. You are never too strong for these stories. You are never too mature for these stories. We are as stupid as toddlers when it comes to matters of the heart. You will almost want to do anything just anything to have what you want.
Accountability to God and friends helped me out. I talked about it to a friend. It was not one of those situations you cry about, I didn’t need pity parties. I needed someone who was going to be VERY candid with me. You and I need people who will be very forthright with us. I needed to flee from the devil. I needed to walk very fast to the path I could tell God was taking me. It was not easy, but I look down that road, and I am so excited that God prevailed.
Is God prevailing in your own situations? Or it’s your own will dominating? He honors those who choose HIM above self. There is a blessing that comes with obedience and whole reliance on God. He wipes away your tears, and holds you to himself. Now if you are waiting for it to happen miraculously you will wait for a long long time, too long to have fallen deeper and deeper. You have to exercise your faith and draw near to God.
“8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
Walk away and draw from where it matters.
He Must Be; I must become